I have a good friend who has been my friend since high school. We eventually married friends and our families hung out together. We often went over to their house and they came to ours.
I have never been the best housekeeper, especially when my kids were small. Toys would be in the family room, dishes in the sink, and dust wasn’t a stranger in our home.
And what in the world did people do with the socks taken out of the dryer that didn’t have a mate? My solution was to have a laundry basket filled with mismatched socks hoping to find a mate and miscellaneous items.
I picked up when company came over, trying to have a decent looking house. When company left, I was fine with doing the dishes and cleaning up the mess the next day.
When we went to my friend’s house, everything seemed to be in immaculate order—regardless of when we went over. Every towel in place and every toy in the toy box, exactly where they should be, and not a speck of dust to be found.
If our kids played a board game, no one could leave until every piece had been found and put back in the box. The dishes were immediately loaded in the dishwasher before we moved on to do anything else.
If necessary, my friend would stay up until two o’clock in the morning putting things back where they belonged and her house back in order. This just wasn’t that important to me.
I so admired her ability to keep everything in order. But not only did I admire her, I was intimidated and felt vastly inferior to her. I felt like I never measured up in every area, not just in the area of keeping a clean and tidy house.
We were dear friends but I always felt she was better than I was. I panicked any time they wanted to drop by before I had enough time to get everything just right.
I felt that way for years and years.
I recently wrote a book, and it was only after writing it I realized I actually had talents and abilities that she might not have. I had opportunities she never had.
My point is this–I wasted many years–decades in fact–feeling inferior every time I was around her. This is what comparison does to a person. She and I differed on things we valued. It didn’t make one of us wrong and the other one right—just different.
You might feel inferior to another person because you might not be able to do something as well as they can. Because of this, you might overlook and not appreciate the talents you do have. If the truth was known, you more than likely have talents they wish they had.
One of the pitfalls of comparison is this–if you feel you don’t measure up, you can overlook and not appreciate the abilities you do have. You may constantly feel you are lacking when in fact you are not.
There is another way comparison can be a pitfall. You might have the opposite reaction and feel you are vastly superior to someone. And, actually, you might be better in a certain area. But not in all areas.
Each of us has things we excel at doing, and things we could do a little better.
Comparison is a waste of time, energy and emotions.
Each day is a gift. Don’t waste the happiness of today by comparing yourself to someone else.
©2019 Bev Brown – All Rights Reserved
Reflections with Bev 